VivaGlam!

Pontius, Is That You?

2010-05-14T19:43:00.005+08:00

#256: Fitness Betrayals & Reconciliations"What is that?" Juno's dad asks Vanessa (played by Jennifer Garner)"It's a Pilates Machine." she replies without further explanation. "Ah. So what does it make?"Fitness fads come and go. In the Philippines, everyone is into running now. Or at least into gearing up and getting outfitted as a runner. (Really. You need a GPS to run in Manila? It's not like

Sliding

2010-03-12T08:11:00.002+08:00

#255: Into MadnessAll this talk of baby blues and post-natal depression. Often, in the middle of the night, when I am barely awake but trying make the most out of my time with my baby, I wonder what it will take to push me into madness. Sleep deprivation is, after all, used as a form of torture.At the hospital, pressures to breastfeed when I cannot produce a milliliter of milk even after hours of

Battling

2010-02-19T12:32:00.002+08:00

#254: BoredomBattling with the blankness of space and time. Yearning for the mad rush of unimportant things to meet inconsequential deadlines. Hours worth of doing and pointless running seemingly more appealing now than hours of waiting, wondering and wobbling in awkward pain.

Notes from the First Trimester

2009-08-18T18:47:00.003+08:00

So this is how it feels like to be well and truly pregnant. My main word throughout the day, most of the days, is “yuck.” I get out of our house and walk down our hallway. Get a whiff of the smell reeking out of our neighbor’s unit: combo of soy sauce, garlic and cigarette smoke. YUCK. Go into a meeting, suspiciously eye another person’s food container. Yes, he’s going to open it in this

Public Disgrace

2009-05-30T22:26:00.004+08:00

#252: Unacceptable InabilityThis morning I went to my swimming class and attempted to do a decent freestyle.Asians are not required to swim, really. Not when you spend most of your leisure time in shopping malls. Australians, on the other hand, seem to have swimming in their genes. They do not only have swimming as a natural talent, they actually have it programmed in their DNA. In between the

Like a Mad Man

2009-02-13T16:08:00.004+08:00

#251: 5 hours before V-DayAnd so here I am like a madman, calling all restaurants for a possible booking for tomorrow night. As if the good restaurants will have a special provision for people who don't plan, don't think, or haven't really bothered until the last minute. "Ah, yes, Mrs. Peters. There is a table with a wonderful view- and that has good visibility from all restaurant staff, that we

Look At Me!!!

2008-12-06T19:19:00.004+08:00

#250: Look at ME!!!!I am not sure but I think that at some point in the past three years, I might have acquired a heightened sense of sensitivity - discomfort, if I may be honest, around people who seem to believe that the world owes them massive degrees of attention. As someone who had been called "an expert in self-promotion" in a previous life, I feel a bit awkward (if not downright

Of Usefulness

2008-11-22T08:57:00.006+08:00

#249: And The Hefty Cost of UselessnessOh the joy of hearing the vacuum going... without actually touching it. We have a cleaner who comes in fortnightly to quickly do a two-hour bit on our place. We don't live in a huge space so the idea of having a third person come in to "help" us out with our chores can be quite uncomfortable for some. What my husband values in privacy, I value in efficiency

I Like Eggs

2008-10-30T19:45:00.003+08:00

#248: Among Other ThingsIn my bowl of ramen, I always eat the egg last. I have this habit - some might say 'philosophy' (but that would be extreme. As if egg-eating needed any philosophy) of saving the best for last. I want the last bite, last slurp, last gulp to be the best one. And I want to walk away with that savoury, soft, chalky feel in my mouth. Sometimes, after doing this, I close my eyes

Storyboard

2008-05-20T20:39:00.003+08:00

#247: Pre-prodGlimpses. Disjointed images. Fast-forwarding, slow-moving, fading, re-surfacing. Pausing. Piercing. Squinting. Seeking. Blurring surroundings. Expanding. Contracting. Constructing. Evolving. Certainly uncertainties. Definite maybes. Unfolding possibilities. Closing in. Zooming out. Zoning out. And about.

Weekend's Over

2008-02-10T13:19:00.001+08:00

#246: What have you done?It's Sunday afternoon, Andrew is away playing soccer and I'm at home filling my time with little bits and pieces of things I have to do but have never really gotten around to properly starting. There's checking out car dealers for the looming purchase, there's reviewing for the driver's test I have to take, there's preparing my dress for tomorrow's Grammy Awards luncheon

The Beef

2008-02-08T17:16:00.001+08:00

#245: Two All-Beef Patties, Special Sauce, Lettuce, CheeseHere's my issue: I don't think I recognize myself anymore. I have this gnawing fear that I have turned into someone I can't readily accept. I wrote about feeling like the barest version of myself sometime back. From that time, the hope would always be that I'd be able to go back to being my vivaglam self again. It would be easy. I just

Unit 8 Cook Rd

2007-09-23T21:47:00.000+08:00

#244: In This White RoomIn this white room is freedomfrom screams and broken dreamssmiles with broken teethstaccato-ed sleepWithin these white walls, promiseof a sky without endfeathers for slumberflouride waterOn these cocoa floors are rootsfor growing and knowingthe breadth of embracethe depth of hope.

Laws of Attraction

2007-08-31T22:07:00.000+08:00

#243: 5 and 8I was able to watch two documentaries on National Geographic on two different but related topics. I will not go over them because that is why you have your own cable subscriptions; but I'd like to lift out a line that intrigued me from those two. Both stated something to this effect: Between the ages of 5 and 8, we build an idea or a picture of the kind of person we are attracted to

Pieces Falling

2007-08-24T00:01:00.000+08:00

#242: Into PlaceToday is a very PRODUCTIVE day. I emphasize 'productive' because when you're done being a student and you don't have a job, and you don't have a visa to stay in the country where you're supposed to reside with your future husband, you try to squeeze the most out of the only thing that allows you to see RESULTS. The wedding.Today I met with Mary-Sean of DreamWorkers. She's an

Try and Try

2007-08-15T22:51:00.001+08:00

#241: Trial Make-upI am faithful to my hairstylists. My hair is a bit strange so it takes a really talented person to make it look nice. If you cut it the wrong way, waves go in weird directions and looking normal becomes a daily struggle for me. Now, most hairstylists here in the Philippines can also do make-up. Not all will be good but majority will be quite capable.If other brides already know

Marrying a Foreigner (Part 2)

2007-08-01T09:22:00.000+08:00

#240: The Marriage License Saga ContinuesStep 5a. Go to the DFA on the stated date.b. Try to go through the same gate you went through before because you remember seeing a releasing window just near that gate. The security guards will stop you. They will say that you should go through Gate 3.c. Ask where Gate 3 is and expect a clear answer. You will not get it. You will get the usual Pinoy, "dun

Marrying a Foreigner

2007-07-26T13:50:00.000+08:00

#239: Steps in Getting a Marriage LicenseStep 1a. Go to your city hall alone. With all documents proving that you exist in this world and that neither of you are married.b. Expect to be able to finish the whole process in an hour max.c. Look for proper signs to find the right window. That's your first mistake. There are no signs, silly.d. Ask the first person you see. Of course, that first person

Finishing Well

2007-07-18T08:41:00.000+08:00

#238: A Chapter EndsI officially completed all the requirements of my MBA last July 6. The end of this chapter of my life wasn't marked by fireworks or grand displays of cheer. I walked out quietly with Andrew from the AGSM building as the MBA Class of 2008 enjoyed their drinks with one of my favorite professors. These weren't the people I took my degree with. I couldn't celebrate with them, nor

Chinese Invasion

2007-06-07T02:26:00.001+08:00

#237: Wit's EndExcuse me, can I just complain?I'm trying to study for my last two final exams - the two last things that stand in the way of pure freedom. The problem is, our apartment, over the past few critical days, has turned into Party Central. And not only does my flatmate have guests at our apartment multiple times during the day (and night), she also invites them to come in groups of 3

Diesel

2007-06-01T10:45:00.000+08:00

#236: Says GoodbyeWow. I'm almost done with my term here in Kellogg. The countdown timer that told me some time back that I had 89 long days to go before I head home now says I have 9 days.And for some reason, I'm starting to see people, courses, and activities in a different light. It's weird that such overwhelming appreciation is hitting me this late in the term. Gloria, my Kellogg guide/buddy

Global Statistics

2007-05-28T13:26:00.000+08:00

#235: On UppersWe take up similar stuff in my International Business Strategy in Non-Market Environments class but our prof can't do it like Prof. Hans Rosling. You gotta love this guy. (Or whatever he's taking.)

Manna

2007-05-25T11:26:00.000+08:00

#234: What is it?Exodus 16 gives us an account of the 15th day of the Israelites' second month out of Egypt as they arrived in the Desert of Sin. They started grumbling about not having enough to eat, to the point of saying that they would have preferred to have died in slavery in Egypt where pots of meat and food surrounded them than to be led to the desert where they were free to starve.

One for the Bulls

2007-05-14T23:17:00.000+08:00

#233: Chicago Bulls' First Win in the PlayoffsI was picked up form my apartment Sunday afternoon, driven to United Center, given my free ticket for a seat that was so close to the court that I had no excuse not to pay attention, and ushered to a spectacle that was bigger than the game being played. Here are the pics.01: This scoreboard is so fancy, it's easy to keep your eyes fixed on it instead

Home Is

2007-05-10T14:41:00.000+08:00

#232: Where the Heart IsWhen I was in 6th grade, we had to make this cheesy music video about a song that had meaning to us. The girl in our group who had the best voice chose "Home is Where the Heart Is." I was supposed to be some back-up singer so out of that whole experience, I retained memories of walking dramatically from Bohol house to Vigan house in Nayong Filipino while wailing, "

Valley Girl

2007-05-05T23:46:00.000+08:00

#231: The Problem with HighsThe problem with highs is that there's bound to be a low. You plant your foot on a mountain peak, and the next step is a step downward. The problem with mountains is that valleys await you on all sides, 360 degrees around.Should one prefer plateaus or plains then for the simple reason that they are predictable, constant and manageable? I don't know. I just hate being

2007-05-03T15:30:00.000+08:00

Guess what I got in the mail today!

One Year On

2007-05-03T10:59:00.000+08:00

#230: A Full YearIt's been a year. A full year. And I have a full heart.It was a year ago when my heart decided to take the leap of faith in full trust - not of this friend who had expressed the desire to take the next step forward, but of the God we shared who had control of all the steps we've made thus far and all we are yet to take. I could not have chosen a wiser, gentler, kinder, sweeter, a

Priorities, Priorities

2007-04-29T12:22:00.000+08:00

#229: What I'd rather doStudies are such a distraction to wedding planning.

Growing a Social Conscience

2007-04-25T13:07:00.000+08:00

#228: At B-SchoolPoverty had always been a nebulous issue as far as I was concerned. It was too prevalent, too present to solve in a country where roughly 80% live in or close to poverty. I grew up interacting with kids from a squatter's area behind our village. They called me "Ate" (big sister) and I saw them as fascinating kids who had more smiles than they had resources or

The One That Got Away

2007-04-19T14:21:00.000+08:00

#227: Bangkok BagI was in Bangkok in 2003 for a week-long meeting. The meetings would start at 9am and end at around 6pm. Then the REAL day would start. Our first night (which was in Pat Pong) was a visual assault of sorts. I'm not talking about the pole-dancing ladies inside bars giving "come-hither" looks to people walking on the streets. I'm talking about the rows upon rows of stalls that sell

Live Case

2007-04-18T11:33:00.000+08:00

#226: A Case of Real LifeReal life does not come in neatly-packaged 15-page cases with exhibits.It comes dumped in a big pile, with additional pieces falling simultaneously at times, randomly at others. And so there isn't really a perfectly right decision, is there? Every single one is tainted by lack of information, by risks and gambles, by our limitations and flaws as humans. And no framework,

Today

2007-04-12T09:55:00.000+08:00

#225: It Snowed1. It snowed. Like crazy. Whipping, angry winds with whipping angry snow. (And it's spring for goodness' sake!)2. I ate good breakfast for a change - cinammon donut, strawberries, melons and grapes.3. I attended Kellogg's Women's Business Association Conference.4. I heard a top woman executive acknowledge that you can't have it all.5. I got a free bag. And a free calculator. And a

Rusty Brown and Cold

2007-04-10T09:28:00.000+08:00

#224: Ice BabyAfter a little over 2 weeks here, my assessment of Chicago remains unchanged: it is rusty brown and cold.We took the train last Friday to go downtown and as I looked out, there was nothing but an hour's worth of brown houses. And brown stores. And brown trees. And brown streets. We had to change trains midway and we had to wait in a brown train station, and boy was it cold.The train

What Good Friday is About

2007-04-07T12:40:00.000+08:00

#223: The Power of The CrossOh to see the dawn of the darkest dayChrist on the road to CalvaryTried by sinful men, torn and beaten thenNailed to the cross of woodChorus 1:This the pow'r of the crossChrist became sin for usTook the blame bore the wrathWe stand forgiven at the crossOh to see the pain written on Your faceBearing the awesome weight of sinEv'ry bitter thought, ev'ry evil deedCrowning

Lonely Illinois

2007-04-04T07:57:00.000+08:00

#222: All Boxed UpAnd the loneliness hits. At 7pm. On my 2nd Chicago Tuesday. When nothing awaits but a frozen meal. All of 250 calories. And around 100 pages of readings.I miss laughter. I wish it came in those Chinese takeout boxes so I could just stick them in the fridge and consume when needed.What I have on my plate now is being the representative for the exchange student group at the

Color Me Glad

2007-03-30T11:38:00.000+08:00

#221: Color Quiz...is the next best thing to doing nothing on this lovely Thursday night. I am once more in my TV-less room waiting for nothing but bedtime. The best type of human interaction I have is when I get up at 7am to Skype Andrew. The rest fall in that bucket of introductory pleasantry that may or may not result in what can be "acceptably defined" as friendship over the next two months

Cornflake Dreams

2007-03-28T11:03:00.000+08:00

#220: The Reality of KelloggI still walk on the left side of the street. I wish I didn't have to reconfigure my laptop to be able to connect to the new network. I wish course packs came free - the way they did in Sydney - and not cost my ailing wallet U$260. I still ache for the comfort that a hug from Andrew brings at the end of the day. But Kellogg is Kellogg. I have stared at that name for a

If You Can Think It

2007-03-21T13:09:00.000+08:00

#219: You can buy itThis thing with the US that constantly amazes me is the overwhelming sense of consumerism that hits you as soon as you step into your nearest neighborhood store. The nearest neighborhood store, of course, is a huge mall with over a hundred stores each with a fabulous display. You don't know whether to start admiring the creativity of the display, the imagination of the design,

Chicago-Bound

2007-03-21T12:26:00.000+08:00

#218: Sydney to Manila to California01: Mar 18 - 6-hour stopover in Manila02: Mar 19 - With Anika & Jus in San Jose, California03: Mar 20 - With Maxine during the Welcome BBQ

Cynically Yours

2007-03-11T20:53:00.000+08:00

#217: Turning Calorie ConsciousI just finished my internship with this health, wellness and nutrition company. I was pretty happy with the report I turned it and pretty satisfied with what I got out of that whole experience. You see, reading around a hundred (or more sometimes) news articles a day from all over the world for weeks at a time brings you to a level wherein you start seeing patterns.

Settling Down

2007-03-01T12:27:00.000+08:00

#216: Down, girl.Sometimes I wonder if weddings really are for the couple... or for the people around them.I've actually gone from dreaming of a wedding ceremony at Shark Island (here at Sydney Harbour), to somewhere by the sea in the Philippines, to overlooking Taal lake... to agreeing to have it somewhere quite...uhm... normal. I don't know if it's my fierce innate opposition to being common

The People You Bump Into

2007-02-17T00:31:00.000+08:00

#215: When You're UglyAlways look good. Because you might run into someone you wouldn't want to see you looking like a dish rag. I had a boss who always used to tell me this. I think I should remember to follow that more often.Case 01:Just got off the train. Looking like a hag. Tired. Can't be bothered to look decent. I just wanted to get home. Then someone crosses my field of vision. In that

Walk Me Home

2007-02-06T00:43:00.000+08:00

#213: Turning to MushWalking Her HomeMark SchultzLooking backHe sees it allIt was her first date the night he came to callHer dad said sonHave her home on timeAnd promise me you'll never leave her sideHe took her to a show in townAnd he was ten feet off the ground(Chorus)He was walking her homeAnd holding her handOh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of himDown that old roadWith the

Three's Company

2007-02-01T19:16:00.000+08:00

#212: Where are the Stooges?Let me take a break from pretending that I am productive. I’d like to think I am but given my area of work now, I don’t know how productivity is measured. My phone never rings, I never attend meetings, I don’t solve problems or tackle issues. I just sit, research, and try (maybe in vain) to make sense of all the information I’m ingesting. Sometimes, I think I need a

Work It

2007-01-26T19:32:00.000+08:00

#211: CalculateIt takes me 1.5 hours to get to work. I start walking to the bus stop at 7:00. The bus gets there at 7:17. I arrive at the corner of Central Station at around 7:38. Just enough time for me to purchase a ticket that costs me Php138.60 one way for the 7:55 train that will spit me out in Rhodes by 8:18am.I'm always the first one out of the train. Always the first one up on the steps.

Beaching and Whining

2007-01-05T18:50:00.000+08:00

#210: Random ThoughtsI have never met an Australian beach I didn't love. And the thing that will always amaze me is how close we are to them. At some point during the day, we just look at each other and ask, "hit the beach?" And we do. Just like that. Today, we went to La Perouse and swam in icy cold water at Congwong Bay. What's not to love about shivering violently close to catching pneumonia?

Reflections

2007-01-02T23:56:00.000+08:00

#209: On 2006's Defining MomentsThe voice that called out my name in that moment I found myself vulnerable yet resolute, came with a person attached to it - invisible but constant in his presence. He kept his hand extended even when I withdrew mine.The voice that called out to me in that unforgiving second, came with a promise attached to it - unknown to mortals but known to eternity. He deemed

Colors of December 2006

2007-01-02T21:10:00.000+08:00

#208: Of Pantones and Palettes*Note: Click on the pics to view larger image.01Andrew took me treasure-hunting for my birthday. It was a cross between Amazing Race and a photography trip. My photos weren't amazing but yes, there was racing in and outside the car involved. My favorite part of the day was lunch at Le Kiosk which required that we walk from one beach to the next - saying hello to

One Birthday

2006-11-29T22:36:00.000+08:00

#207: Coming UpToday, two people reminded me that my birthday is coming up. I didn't think I would ever need reminding of my birthday - especially since at around this time, hype around it would have been up already. I would have already sent out follow-up text broadcasts and gotten a good grasp of how many people are turning up. The theme would've been finalized a good two weeks before the day

Fine Matter

2006-11-24T13:57:00.000+08:00

#206: I Have BecomeAnti-social. By intent or by default, I couldn't tell. These days, I'd rather lock myself in one of the study rooms on campus than walk around and interact with people whom I don't really have genuine connections with. I'd rather go home and watch Oprah. And when people ask me what has happened to me - why I've disappeared, why they haven't seen me for a while, why I seem to be

Sleepless in Florida

2006-11-18T10:46:00.000+08:00

#205: Someone get these peach-colored things away from me!The disappointing thing about Florida is that it doesn't disappoint you when it comes to meeting your stereotypical expectations. We're booked at a hotel that is huge, audacious in design, tacky in concept and stuck in the 80's Miami Vice in terms of color palette. Think of obscene levels of peaches and light blues and pinks and mint

San Francisco Stopover

2006-11-17T11:09:00.000+08:00

#204: Stop the World, I wanna get off!With my Ninang who's practically my big sister.With my younger brother who feels like he's the older brother.

The Art of Labels

2006-11-11T21:05:00.000+08:00

#203: And of Wearing themHow strange that we can forget physical wounds easily but find it hard to forget emotional ones. Physical scars are more evident. More present in our present. Yet one can't forget a harsh word from years ago or an accusation hurled decades ago. You can't forget the labels you've been called from back when you were in 2nd grade. You still know the exact tone with which

Reacting

2006-10-27T12:55:00.000+08:00

#202: Over and UnderStarting last night, I think I've listened to at least 7 news broadcasts about 3 key headlines here in Australia. One was about the outrage of Australia over the comments made by a Muslim Mufti likening women dressed in skimpy clothes to uncovered meat. If the cat eats the uncovered meat that is left outside, then it's not the cat's fault but the uncovered meat's fault.The

Movie Nights

2006-10-14T03:05:00.000+08:00

#201: With the Ambrosio BoysMy dad, my brother and I used to watch movies together from time to time. I would draw out the streak in me that likes a certain type of "guy movies" and for a couple of hours or so, I'd be "one of the boys." On the way home, we'd fill the car with rundowns of the scenes we liked as if we weren't all there watching the same movie.Strange that the movies we enjoyed

Archie, Betty and Veronica

2006-10-06T12:30:00.000+08:00

#200: Lessons from Riverdale HighI grew up reading Archie comics. I wanted to go to Riverdale High. Thought that Jughead was the coolest character because he could eat the world and not grow fat. Wanted to name my dog, Hotdog. Wanted, at some point, Moose to beat my brother up. Didn't think Moose deserved Midge. Thought that Reggie was cuter than Archie, but boy, was he an a*s. But the thing that

Hers

2006-09-22T08:17:00.000+08:00

#199: She Was Here.They were hers. The place. The name. Him amidst the lights that encircled Cockle Bay.I scour the tags I've attached to it: Where I had my first lunch in Sydney with Elna, Ian and Carlo. Where I took my Coke friends after we giggled over one of the guys from class. Where I celebrated my 6th year of freedom from 6-year guy. Where we embraced Anand as part of our circle.Where I

Mulatto

2006-09-21T12:44:00.000+08:00

#198: Celebrity Look-alikesI got the link to this from Java Junkie's blog. Go to www.MyHeritage.com. Quite a novel tool. Thing is, the results made me raise my eyebrows more than once. The first set of results gave me Sofia Coppola plus all Asian girls looking like Heart Evangelista (a Filipino celebrity I don't particularly like.) The second set of results gave me more Asian girls (including

Watson's Bay

2006-09-18T22:06:00.000+08:00

#197: RevisitedYou know how it is when you start seeing a place in a different light?I've always had this thing about attaching people to certain places. Place X is A's place. Or place Y is my place with B, C, and D when we were at this point in life. It's part of recalling things in a holistic fashion - the scents, the colors, the emotions included. So when those have been frozen in memory, they

A Philippine Love Song

2006-09-11T08:48:00.000+08:00

#196: Lupang HinirangI'm working on a 4-page write-up on the Philippines and it's breaking my heart to see how we continue to lag behind other Asian nations in all possible economic indicators. And not only do we fall behind, our rankings get worse and worse over the years. According to the IMD World Competitiveness Yearbook, from 2002 to 2006, the Philippines slid nine levels in overall

The Glory of God

2006-09-07T11:19:00.000+08:00

#195: In His Creation01 Sept 2006We sat on the beach. On a warm blanket laid on wet sand.Over cold pizza, but under the vast sky. With half a moon looking down on the half bottle of orange soda. It was as if you could see forever and now at the same time. Overlapping with the lapping of the waves. Overwhelming in its simplicity."Oh Lord, our Lord,How excellent Your Name isHow excellent Your Name

Lost Words

2006-09-01T09:38:00.000+08:00

#194: Dear StrangerThere was a time we used to write each other. Long letters. Short notes. Postcards. Scribbles on scratch papers. Poems on notepads. Turtles on dog-eared corners of books. A series of dots on LCD screens. Melting. Wrenching. Warming.And I would find them in my Inbox with a short subject like "hi." Or a silly one like "Heinz." They would be on my table. Passed from one hand to

In Difference

2006-08-22T21:10:00.000+08:00

#193: Is there a Difference?...between loving someone and being in love with someone? Does the word "in" make a world of difference? I love you vs. I am IN love with you.I think there is a difference in terms of the level of engagement. One is an overflow of one's heart. It is directional in nature - the flow of which can be increased (or reduced) accordingly by descriptors such as 'very', '

Die Scum Die

2006-08-20T18:13:00.000+08:00

#192: DrainedOur little apartment has a wonderful shower room. The cubicle is next to a thin glass window that's slightly frosted - like someone has lightly breathed on the surface - and that's two-thirds of the wall in size. Please imagine how it must look from the outside. No, please don't. Back to my point. So every time I shower, I am bathed with paranoia. I stand at an angle to obscure...

2006-08-09T15:16:00.000+08:00

Differentiation Strategy

2006-08-09T13:52:00.000+08:00

#191: What's the Diff?"He who is different from me does not impoverish me - he enriches me."From Flight to Arras by Antoine de Saint-ExuperyHow do you feel about this line?I used to carry this notion of "birds of the same feather, flock together" as being more viable in the long term than "opposites attract." While there may be chemistry resulting from polarity, it makes you wonder how long the

Bite This

2006-07-31T15:19:00.000+08:00

#190: Apple of My EyeI'm wondering how Steve Jobs must've felt when the board of directors kicked him out of Apple years back. Apple was his baby. He gave birth to it. Then came spreadsheet-toting investors who, at some point, said, "Heck this dude doesn't know what he's doing. Let's sack him."I'm feeling a little Steve-Job-ish now.What do you do when someone takes your idea and runs away with it?

Whiff It

2006-07-26T14:14:00.000+08:00

#189: Coffee Break4:05pm. In a meeting which has been going on since 11am."I need a break. I'm getting out of this room to get coffee.""You don't need to get coffee. I have coffee beans in my bag. Just smell them."At which point she pulls out a 1kg bag of coffee beans and lets her team mate take a sniff.

Rush Hour Camellias

2006-07-24T07:51:00.000+08:00

#188: Morning SmileI love seeing this tree with bright red flowers every morning on my way to the bus stop. It's winter. It's a struggle to take a shower in the morning. It's a struggle to smile. But the red Camellias smile on even under heartless downpours. And so I smile back at them. Every morning.What do you see on your way to work?

Emotional Leaks

2006-07-19T20:08:00.000+08:00

#187: Addressing Emotional AdulteryI'm re-reading a book I finished over two years ago and one interesting concept I came across is "Emotional Adultery." It's from D.Raunikar's book, "Choosing God's Best" and it's under the sub-topic "Emotional Oneness."Many who have never been involved in a sexual affair have had emotional affairs. Counterfeit emotional oneness develops when you give your

Lucy in The Sky with Diamonds

2006-07-15T09:53:00.000+08:00

#186: Is a Diamond Forever?In our Strategy class (which is being taught by this dignified silver-haired professor with crisp shirts and precisely-pressed coats - sorry, I had to throw that detail in. He's attractive for a 60 year old man. And that's the beauty of being a professor. Your value increases as you grow older. Not like in the corporate world where respect declines as you grow older

Going Home

2006-07-08T19:32:00.000+08:00

#185: Bye ManilaMy brother and his girlfriend drive us to the old icky airport. On our way there, the muted colors of slums and sari-sari stores bid us - bid me farewell. It was all laughter until I embraced my dad to say goodbye. Why do goodbyes always sting? My mom tells me to be a good girl. Our maids try to hide the sadness of it all behind dishwashing suds and mocking voices: "Go. Leave. So

Winter is Warmer

2006-07-07T02:37:00.002+08:00

#184: Rain on this ParadeThe day starts with "Manila" playing in the background and ends with raindrops on my windshield. The tables turn, then turn again. I meet his greeting with half a smile and silence. He hands me a gift for my parents. I mumble my thanks. It would have been sweet but I feel nothing. I've moved on. On to the one whose soothing words never fail to pierce the cold silence of

Fear Factor

2006-06-20T11:24:00.000+08:00

#183: Fearing MediocrityThe first 3 significant grades I got for this term were fantastic. I practically shot out into space upon getting an A+ in our IT group project (1 of the 2 the groups that got that mark), 96% in my Org Structure and Change (highest in class), and 100% in my Finance quiz. But see, that's the problem when you shoot out of the atmosphere. You're bound to crash back into the

Erase, Erase, Erase

2006-06-16T13:57:00.000+08:00

#182: Guide to Headaches and SpicesThere's nothing like Jack Johnson to ease a pounding headache. I'm still reeling from my chili noodle lunch which is the spiciest thing I've ever tasted in my life. I practically stumble out of the Vietnamese place. My milk tea eases the burning sensation momentarily to allow it to come back with greater fury 2 seconds after. Great. I sit on my favorite bench at

Fever

2006-06-13T12:11:00.000+08:00

#181: Coming down with feverI wasn't feeling well last night. I don't know if it's the IT assignment I had to turn in before 8am today or the fact that at 12 midnight, I still haven't had my dinner (nor taken a shower. Sue me. Academic papers have that effect on me. I would much rather do presentations). In my pajamas, I wandered to our cold kitchen and figured I'd have breakfast at midnight. Not

Monster Me

2006-06-08T06:27:00.000+08:00

#180: Loving Internet RadioAfter 6 months here, it just hit me the other day: I can actually listen to Philippine radio via the internet! Stupid me. How could I have overlooked that little detail when these are the things they keep on drumming in your head as you're in your car stuck in Manila traffic? It's like finding an easter egg. It's 8:27am here now. I'm in the library supposedly studying

Eyes Toward Home

2006-06-02T13:31:00.000+08:00

#178: Tie a Yellow Ribbon?The countdown begins. (Have I started a previous blog entry with this? I'm losing my creativity.) In my powdered-power-drink-drugged mind, I've skipped my finals and flown straight to the Philippines. I have to remind myself time and time again that there are still three weeks, 4 major papers and 4 final exams between me and my home. Everytime the cold autumn wind makes

Road Trip to Kiama

2006-05-29T05:00:00.000+08:00

Testament

2006-05-28T19:00:00.000+08:00

#178: Sublime PointTell me what this marker marks.Listen to what it proclaims.In stillness it stands as a testamentA fortunate witnessTo love sublime, Love strong,Love true.

Forgetful Jones

2006-05-26T07:00:00.000+08:00

#177: Remembers Her Blog's BirthdayI knew something was up today. I just wasn't sure. And I was too lazy to open my diary the night before. Reading about betas of assets, risk-free rates and the risk premiums on the market portfolio is not the type of thing that charges you with energy, you know. (It's interesting. For some twisted reason, I'm liking Finance.) I just knew that I wanted to get to

Bawl

2006-05-24T13:07:00.000+08:00

#176: Here's a Big OneMet up with some ex-officemates yesterday. I'm still their baby. Just like I was when I was early 20ish, fresh out of University, naive, impressionable. One is a Powerpuff girl. She's in her mid-30's, director of a Marketing group in a big telco in the Philippines. Flies to Sydney for a business trip. Offers to fly me to Gold Coast with her this weekend so she'll have

Let Her Cry

2006-05-15T18:22:00.000+08:00

#175: Wildflower by JodeciShe’s faced the hardest times you could imagine.And many times her eyes fought back the tears.And when her youthful world was about to fall inEach time her slender shoulders,bore the weight of all her fears.And the sorrow no one hears,Still rings in midnight silenceIn her ears...Let her cry, for she’s a lady Let her dream, for she’s a childLet the rain fall down upon

Glitch

2006-05-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

#174: AgainToday marks another sad day in Sydney.I am once more at my table, facing the computer.And again, it is raining.Deja vu. A glitch in the Matrix.You've comforted me once more, Jae.But my heart still hurts.I want my Gladys back.I need to go home.

2006-05-14T21:46:00.000+08:00

Dear Mom

2006-05-14T21:07:00.000+08:00

#173: Mother's Day LetterDear Mom,Thank you.Thank you for raising us up as dreamers - people who create visions. I can see far into the horizon because you encouraged us to discover new oceans and taught us how to lose sight of the shore. That was one of your favorite quotes. And I remember you using that to inspire us, and then to make us eat weird vegetables. Thank you that as we were growing

Barefoot

2006-05-08T20:06:00.000+08:00

#172: WalkingShed the layers of fat and skin and clothes that keep you warm.Bring down the walls that hide your heart.A cold heart is only good for the dead, is it not?Take off your shoes and walkBarefootFeeling each pebble, each crack with your hardened soles.Cautious, uncertainBut willing, and expectant.Ready to believe.Ready to walk through the wavesOr flyOr fallInto the arms of the One you

2006-04-22T23:47:00.000+08:00

Fine Lines

2006-04-22T23:33:00.000+08:00

#171: At DawnThe grono burns on, shedding artifical light on the wrinkled skin over her hands. The song lingers in her head. The scent sticks to her hair. The line blurs. And she writes what Art Garfunkel croons. It is a fine line between the darkness and the dawn.

Easter Pics

2006-04-17T21:24:00.000+08:00

Apr.15.2006 True Blue Filipino Party. Well, Filipino-Canadian friendship-Easter dinner-karaoke-silly dancing party. Apr.15.2006 Saner times. Before getting egged for the cacophony. Apr.16.2006 Jim from Canada. Senior Consultant. Definitely not a singer.

Amazing Love

2006-04-17T21:01:00.000+08:00

#170: Lyrics of a Wonderful SongMy Lord, what love is thisThat pays so dearlyThat I, the guilty oneMay go free! Amazing love, O what sacrificeThe Son of God given for meMy debt he pays, and my death he diesThat I might live, that I might liveAnd so they watched him dieDespised, rejectedBut oh, the blood he shedFlowed for me! And now, this love of ChristShall flow like riversCome wash your guilt

Stephen Speaks

2006-04-14T15:49:00.000+08:00

#169: Covey, I meanI'm looking for strategic fit. I need to determine internal and external alignment. What I'm doing is assessing to reduce variability, uncertainty and risk. It's all part of good governance to minimize disjoint between management and shareholder interests.And yes, I'm talking about relationships.My friend Lee will probably not be surprised that I talk like this. How many

Art Attack

2006-04-10T20:25:00.000+08:00

#168: Looking at the Road UntravelledA couple of Fridays back, I was in the middle of a party and amidst the loud music, I found myself talking to someone about an alternative path I could've taken a few years back. He's a graphic designer, just like my brother, and because of a previous project together, I felt I had been able to see a side of him I could trust. He had been working in Marketing

2006-04-04T09:08:00.000+08:00

Apr.02.2006: In fake Italy with Andrew.

Unplan

2006-04-03T20:17:00.000+08:00

#167: Plans Come UndoneSometimes, you just have to drop the grand plans so you can be a good friend.I went to the city with a friend today. Over banana cake and a tropical smoothie, autumn winds carried her heavy words to a head which understands but doesn't know the depth of her pain. There were sunset-colored tulips we saw which I may give her one day, when she finally goes back to her homeland

Home Along Maroubra Road

2006-04-01T21:52:00.000+08:00

#166: First Official House PartyBackground: Term 1 is over. Or shall I say, the torture is over? Finally. Now I can snap out of this zombie-ish state I've descended in in the last three weeks. That should stop people from asking if I'm alright. (I'm fine. Don't let the dark circles around my eyes and the alternating intense-and-blank look on my face fool you. And no, I am not on the brink of a

Farewell Moon

2006-03-18T19:33:00.000+08:00

#165: To an Adopted Member of HAGSThere will be no record of that Friday night at Bondi when toe-less seagulls formed a wall around us by the cold sand and threatened to ruin the conversation on imagery, market research and various strategies. No proof of the yellow moon that he pointed out but which turned pale when I left him at the bus station. But I will hold him close even as he flies across

Escape

2006-03-15T07:44:00.000+08:00

#164: To FreedomLast Feb 25, I celebrated by 6th year of freedom. I was in Darling Harbor with a group of friends. One talked about her emotionally-abusive relationship. One talked about how he learned housework early in life because his mom fell ill when he was 11. Another one was briefing us on cycling. I sat quietly and listened. These were all good. I'm learning laundry. I'm planning to buy a

Freestyling Friday

2006-03-13T09:41:00.000+08:00

#163: In Lieu Of A Thousand WordsI love our Marketing professor.At the start of the term, he made a bet that if our team ended up first in this Marketing Simulation game, he'll buy us champagne. Well, well, well. I always love a good challenge. The simulated 8-year period ends today. The firms and brands have been erased from the face of the fictional Sonite and Vodite Markets. Guess who won. (